Wednesday, April 09, 2014

Exhausted

I do a lot.  I hear it all the time: "I don't know how you do it all"  I don't know how.  It never felt like much and I gladly took on more whenever an opportunity to help someone crossed my radar.  Sure.  I can do that.  And I did; and it didn't seem like any trouble at all.  Job, kids, teaching, students, grading, crafts, church, gym, homemaking, reading for pleasure--got it.  Done.  It just all worked.

Lately though, I'm just exhausted.  My list of things to do for friends, family, crafts/etsy, adoption, teaching, research, conference planning, student assistance, advising, church volunteering, and self-care (hello, gym? It's been a month.  Miss you!  Haircut?  Who has time for those?) suddenly feels entirely impossibly too much.  My post-it note system looks like a ticker-tape parade.  There are never ever enough minutes between things to do any meaningful small tasks and so they pile up while I take 5 minutes to blog or check email (oh, look, another student with another disaster for me to fix).  I say I'll get to them after bedtime or on my research day or tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.  During a call with a co-author today I had to commit to our next meeting and flipped to my calendar to see my next block of time where I could meet with her was May 15.  I'm buried.

And with that, I teach again in 10 minutes.  Useful way to spend 5 minutes?  Debatable.  But cathartic and real.

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